This is me. No reservations.

it's been a while.

2012-01-03T09:21:00.000-08:00

It's been a crazy and amazing few weeks for me. On Christmas Eve, this happened...

Tim and I got engaged! It was lovely and simple and perfect.

We both enjoy blogging, so we decided to create a new blog for our engagement journey and our adventures after we are married. We are getting married on July 27, and we couldn't be more excited!

Check out our new blog!

Some thoughts.

2011-12-12T15:00:00.000-08:00

This is how I feel right now, and almost exactly what I did as I walked out of that classroom into the rain. Today I finished my first semester of graduate school, and I cannot stop smiling. I think back to when I first started this program. The first few weeks I cried every night. I did not think I could do it. I wanted to quit. I hated myself for entering the program and thinking I could actually make it through.

I feel like society puts these strange restrictions on us. We are told to be self-confident, but not cocky. We are told to walk tall, but not too tall. We are told to boast about what we have done, but not talk about it too much. I feel like I always tried to walk this very fine line, and I pushed myself down because of it. It was easier to have low self-esteem and just hate myself than to know myself and what I was good at.

Today I completed something I did not think I could do. Something not everyone could do. I made it through my first semester of graduate school and I am damn proud of that, and there are no apologies for how great I feel about myself at this moment.

Thursday.

2011-11-10T11:05:00.000-08:00

Thursday. Thursday. Thursday.

I have been sick all week and this is the first outfit I have put together since Sunday morning. The rest of the week I was in pajamas. I am so glad the week is almost over. Today I am working at my internship and tomorrow I get to hang out with some pretty cool kids. Saturday is our Handmade Holiday Shop! I can't wait. But for tonight, I am looking forward to a glass of wine, (hopefully) an evening walk with my love, and a nice hot shower.

All about a scarf.

2011-11-09T07:59:00.000-08:00

The other week I was in a meeting when I glanced at the co-worker across the table from me. She was wearing a beautiful floral scarf and it was wrapped around her neck in a way I had never seen before! I probably stared at her much too long trying to figure out how she had done it. (In fact, yes, it was too long, judging by the many times she caught me staring. You know, that awkward moment when someone catches you staring at them. Yeah, awkward.) I finally figured it out and I wanted to share it on my blog so everyone could benefit from my creepiness.

I love it!

Handmade Holiday Shop!

2011-11-08T07:48:00.000-08:00

A few months ago, my friend Bethany had the idea of doing a craft fair with a twist. She wanted to open her home for people to walk through and see the items in their natural place. I LOVED this idea (especially because of my fear of craft fairs. See previous blog post.) So friends, if you live in the Anaheim area, you should come down to our Handmade Holiday Shop this Saturday!

Bethany is also hosting a giveaway to try and get the word out about the Handmade Holiday Shop! Want to win these earrings that her father-in-law, Dan, makes? (I have seen them first hand and they are spectacular!)

Here is how you can win them!

Visit Bethany's blog and leave a comment telling her how you spread the word. There are three ways to do this:

1. Post a Facebook status about the Handmade Holiday Shop (linking to Bethany's blog post)

2. Tweet about the Handmade Holiday Shop, linking to Bethany's blog post and using the hashtage #handmadeholidayshop.

3. Blog about the Handmade Holiday Shop, and link the Bethany's blog post.

It would be SO COOL to meet some bloggers. I will be there all day! Hope to see some of you there.

Fashionably Late?

2011-11-07T17:46:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't blogged in a while, and I almost didn't post these pictures because they are a few weeks old, but they make me so happy that I just had to.

We had the best time at the pumpkin patch! We picked great pumpkins, went through the corn maze, and ate some delicious food. Tim and I dreamed about the future and tried to avoid crowds (which proved impossible). I can't wait to go next year!

My study playlist.

2011-10-11T05:03:00.000-07:00

Making flash cards is pretty boring, but it helps to listen to music.

comfy time.

2011-10-10T06:46:00.000-07:00

Sometimes jeans and flats and a t-shirt is all I need to feel good. And a pretty necklace. Sometimes I just need to be comfortable.

In other news, my hair is now long enough for pig tails! I have always loved pig tails, and this really made me happy!

Birthdays + Girls' Sleepover + Sparklers = THE BEST.

2011-10-07T09:36:00.000-07:00

Sparklers and slow exposure cameras are some of the small joys in life. So are life long girl friends.

Life lately.

2011-10-06T08:15:00.000-07:00

(unrelated picture that makes me happy. source unknown.)

From my teen years on, I jumped from addiction to addiction. I believe a lot of my problems come from one of the worst and most destructive addictions: food.

I have always gone through times of not caring about my body and the weight that I gained. This past year, something changed for me. I gained inspiration from friends, I learned more about healthy living, I finally felt like I could do it. So I started trying to lose weight with the help of some friends. In five months, I lost sixteen pounds. That was huge for me! I had never lost that much weight in such little time, and I felt so good. Over the summer, I do not know what happened, but something was lost in me, and I gained back all the weight and more.

A few weeks ago, I gained inspiration again. I don't know if it was seeing an old friend, making a lovely dinner with my boy, or possibly thinking about maybe having a wedding sometime... but I felt on fire again to get control of my body issues. Three weeks ago I started counting calories and going to the gym as much as I could. I understand the reservations that some have with counting calories, and it does not work for everyone, but it worked for me, and I know I can make it work again.

I have heard the piece of advice that you should never start a diet that you cannot maintain for the rest of your life. Counting calories is not something that I plan to do for the rest of my life, but while I am still in this vulnerable, rocky period of having this food addiction, I feel like it is the best thing for me. It brings about such a major change in my mood at the end of the day, knowing everything that I put into my mouth. And I no longer go to bed feeling fat and guilty. I feel hopeful.

Wine tasting in Temecula, part 3.

2011-10-05T08:39:00.000-07:00

I have already started making plans with Tim to go again next summer. Seriously, best time ever.

A post about fashion.

2011-10-04T08:29:00.000-07:00

I have no idea the exact moment, but about six months ago I started to become interested in fashion and shoes. Oh boy, shoes. I NEVER cared about the shoes I wore in high school or college. Converse were a staple in my outfits and I wore them until they had too many holes to function anymore. I remember telling Tim one day, "I don't want to dress frumpy anymore." And from them on, I tried to be more conscious of what I was wearing. Not because I care that much about fashion (or even shoes) but I just like looking presentable and actually taking care of my body.

I don't do outfit posts very often because this blog is not all about clothes, but sometimes it is fun to go out with Tessa and take pictures. Especially when I find an outfit that is as comfortable and cute as this one. I was proud.

Wine tasting in Temecula, part 2.

2011-10-03T09:30:00.000-07:00

The BEST day off ever.

Wine tasting in Temecula, part 1.

2011-09-30T18:53:00.000-07:00

That picture of the five of us took a lot of effort to get, but I do love it. These pictures all make me so happy.

I used to love to cry.

2011-09-28T07:20:00.000-07:00

I used to love to cry.

I never found anything wrong with having a good cry. You do not make a playlist titled ‘In Need of a Good Cry’ if you do not like to cry. You do not put ‘crying’ on your list of ‘healthy ways to deal with stress’ if you do not like to cry. (It is number 6: between taking a walk and dancing in my underwear.)

Six months ago, I would feel a good cry coming on from days away. This tension would build in my chest, knots in my back, shaky fingers. The only thing that would take this away was letting my stress out. But since I am stubborn I would not let this itching to cry get the best of me. I would hold it back, trying to be strong, until one day at an unknown moment, I would break down. Yet when it happened, I would feel this pressure being released from my chest. As the tears ran down my face, I would feel more alive, more beautiful. I would feel real and emotional and scared. But I would feel good.

Now things are different.

I feel ready to break down and cry all the time. When it hits me, I cannot hold it back and I cannot pretend to be strong. I give into the tears because they control me and I let them willingly fall down my face. I don’t feel beautiful or real, I feel weak and pathetic because I can no longer stop after five minutes. And I do not feel better afterwards. I feel so much more empty afterwards because I know that it will only be hours until the tears come again.

I want things to go back to the way they were. I want to not be stressed out all the time and feeling like a breakdown all the time. I want to be done with school already. I want to be stronger than I have been and give myself credit for where I have come from.

I want to feel like myself again.

Six bits.

2011-09-27T09:43:00.000-07:00

Cafe Veronese

September with my love.

Last day!

2011-09-23T08:09:00.000-07:00

OUR SHOP

Just some things you should know.

2011-09-21T23:10:00.000-07:00

Dear future husband,
Since reading the Christy Miller books, I have written some letters to you. When I was 12 I thought it was the coolest thing to do because I did not know anyone in my life who I would ever date, let alone marry. I did not even want to get married until a few years ago. Now, I think I know who you are, at least I hope I do. So there might be some things you should know about me. About three times a year I get really bad cramps in my calf in the middle of the night. I will wake up screaming and crying (ask Tessa). I hope you will help me stretch out my leg and cuddle with me until I fall back asleep. Sometimes at 3 in the morning, I need to get in the car and drive to the beach. This also happens about three times a year, and I would want you to go with me. Most Saturdays if I do not have anything to do, I prefer to not have to put pants on all day long. I would like to dance in my underwear and I need you to be okay with that. I am an introvert and I am a homebody a lot of times. Other times I really need to get out and be around people. I hope you can deal with both sides of me. When I am sleeping, I like to have my whole body covered with blankets, except my feet. I can never sleep with my feet covered. Or with socks on. And please do not rub your socks against my bare feet, I can not think of anything worse. I say that I do not like Christmas that much, but I really do. I look forward to waking up on Christmas morning with you and having hot chocolate and giving you gifts. I love giving gifts.

Just a few things I thought you should know.

-a

I think...

2011-09-21T09:51:00.000-07:00

I think I would like to live in Italy for a year.
I think in a month I will be addicted to going to the gym.
I think there are worse things to be addicted to.
I think the day Tim comes back from a 4 day camping trip is the best day.
I think the next two years in school may just about kill me.
I think Ten Things I Hate About You will always be my favorite chick flick.
I think a glass of wine and a hot bath helps everything.
I think my sister might be able to read my mind sometimes.
I think Hebrews is a pretty amazing read.
I think old friends will always be missed.
I think there is always time for TV and reading.
I think I miss my nephew every day.
I think late night serious and silly conversations are my favorite.
I think Wednesday will be a good day.

Never Let Me Go.

2011-09-20T07:52:00.000-07:00

I watched Never Let Me Go last Saturday. It was the best movie I have seen in a long time. I loved the cinematography, the music, the characters, the storyline. I cannot think of any part of it I did not love. There was a scene in the end with Andrew Garfield that literally had me holding my breath. There is something so beautiful and powerful about raw emotion. Watching someone having an emotion too powerful for words was a breathtaking experience. I cannot even express the way I felt after I finished the film. It made me want to cry, run out in the rain screaming my lungs off, kiss my boy, hug everyone I know. It made me want to feel alive.

Even talking about it is getting me into this restless feeling of wanting to do more than I am, wanting to be more than I am. I need to go write. I never feel more like myself than when I am writing in my journal.

Do the robot and come on over because...

2011-09-19T08:48:00.000-07:00

We are having a 20% off EVERYTHING sale in our Etsy shop, YarnPlusYarn.

Sale is from Monday, September 19-Friday, September 23.
Use code 20percentsale at the time of checkout.

Craigslist, you've redeemed yourself.

2011-09-13T07:34:00.000-07:00

I decided a while ago to turn my treehouse into business headquarters for my shop with Emily. I loved the idea of having a dresser to organize all our items in (and also because they were taking up so much space in my bedroom!). Tim suggested the idea of looking under the 'free' section on Craigslist. Last week I really searched, every day. I probably emailed at least 15 people asking about the dressers, and I was having the WORST luck with it. Sunday afternoon I happened to stumble upon a listing for a dresser and it was FREE. My mom, Tim, and I hopped in the van and headed to pick it up. It was an adventure to say the least, but we got her! Right now, she looks like a dresser from the 70's, but I have big plans for her. Big plans.

A great recipe.

2011-09-12T07:34:00.000-07:00

Tim and I tried a new recipe on Sunday night for dinner. We really love the whole process of cooking together: from picking stuff out at the grocery store to scrambling around the kitchen trying to get everything done. It has become a really fun thing for us to do together. We found this recipe a long time ago, so I can't remember where it is from, but I will share it with you!

Here are the ingredients you need:

Grate pepper jack cheese and cut up some arugala. Mix together.

Cut open some chicken breasts and fill with the cheese and arugala.

Cut up tomatoes, squash, and carrots.

Add squash, carrots, corn, and more arugala to a large pan with a bit of olive oil.

Add tomatoes last, then add lime juice.

Chicken is done.

And it all looks delicious.

Don't forget the ice cream for dessert.

XO.

Best day ever.

2011-09-08T10:10:00.000-07:00

Life is busy, and sometimes I forget to blog about really important things. Like... On August 11, I became an AUNT for the first time! My nephew is Shane Nikolas and he is beautiful and healthy and amazing. My brother called me at 6:30 am on Thursday because I my sister-in-law, Suramy, wanted me in the delivery room. I was elated at being able to see the whole process and be there when he was born.

I excitedly rushed to the hospital, not remembering that labor can take a long time and I didn't need to be there immediately. It was a long day indeed, but it was cute to see my brother get excited and be there for Suramy.

Around 4 pm, she had to have a C-section because the cord was wrapped around his little body. This meant that I had to leave, since only one person (my brother) was allowed in the operating room. I was sad to have to leave, but excited to finally meet the little guy!

As it turned out, because of how long the procedure was and recovery time and all that, our family was not able to meet him until the next morning because visiting hours ended at 8 pm. My whole family got there at 8 am Friday morning as soon as they opened again so we could meet Shane. My brother had posted many pictures on his Twitter, but I told myself I didn't want to 'meet' him over the internet. I stayed away from the pictures and the first glance I got of him was in the hospital, laying in Suramy's arms. He was perfect, and had tons of hair! He looked exactly like Suramy to me.

He is my nephew and I am in love.

A movie date.

2011-09-07T07:50:00.000-07:00

I went to the movies with my brother the other night and he showed me some cool effects that I can achieve with my camera. My brother loves to teach me about photography and using my camera correctly, and watching him take pictures is always fun for me.

We saw a concert of the Red Hot Chili Peppers playing their new cd in Germany. It was really cool to have a comfortable seat and get great camera angles from the concert. It's probably the next best thing to actually being at the concert. The new cd is amazing and I would recommend it to any RHCP fan!

.

2011-09-07T04:56:00.000-07:00

Pretty much spent all day Tuesday with Tim waiting for a seller on Craigslist to respond to my email inquiring about a free dresser. Waiting for an email is the worst.

Although during that time, Tim and I found some amazing things under the 'free' section on Craigslist! We decided we won't have to buy anything for our possible hopefully future home, we will just pick stuff from there. We are minimalists.

Colors!!

2011-09-06T10:11:00.000-07:00

I am so excited to finally be able to share all the colors our tatted earrings can be made in. Emily worked really hard with dying and creating colors, and I worked hard to get the pictures to turn out. We love how this turned out and we are excited to get our first custom order.

Check out our earrings!

XO.

Sleepover!

2011-09-03T14:30:00.000-07:00

I'm having a sleepover with this lovely lady tonight.

Pretty sure it will consist of:

girl talk

scary movies

knitting/crocheting/tatting

business plans

ice cream and/or cookie dough

staying up late

(Insert clever title.)

2011-09-02T09:42:00.000-07:00

There is something so refreshing about watching old movies. My film music class really made me appreciate old films and I hope to watch more.

I love that the female actresses are modest. I love that the male actors are so creative when courting the women. I love the dramatic music. I love getting a glimpse into a very different time.

Study/reading session.

2011-09-01T09:34:00.000-07:00

Sunday is the day I usually get to spend time with Tim, but I had so much studying to do this last Sunday that I didn't think we would have any time. So I tricked him into hanging out with me while I studied by giving him the second Hunger Games book. He was entertained and I was getting my homework done. Everyone is happy!

snip.

2011-08-31T09:17:00.000-07:00

I missed short hair.

Things around Grandma's house.

2011-08-30T07:39:00.000-07:00

I can't wait to see my Grandma again. I miss her.

Anaheim Art Crawl, Part 2

2011-08-29T07:34:00.000-07:00

A few weekends ago, I got to participate in the Anaheim Art Crawl with Bethany. Luckily, we had tables next to each other, so we got to set up our things together and talk a lot during the slow times. Bethany always has the greatest displays, and her table got a lot of attention. Overall, it was fun (especially seeing friends who stopped by!).

I love my craft fair buddy!

Long time no see.

2011-08-25T22:43:00.000-07:00

My boyfriend sent me a sweet email saying he missed my blog posts and asking why I hadn't posted in a while. It made me happy at least one person reads what I write.

Here is the reason the posts have been sparse lately:

I am a graduate student now.

I have to read 1,089,101 pages of these books a week.

However, I love blogging and I don't want to let it go, so I will try and be better.

........

2011-08-18T11:11:00.000-07:00

Five Guys.

2011-08-17T10:48:00.000-07:00

After church a few weeks ago, I had my first Five Guys experience. It was a delicious meal, although I can't say I like it more than In N Out. Tim loved the free peanuts and I loved saying "Everything!" when the cashier asked what I wanted on my burger.

Yum.

Inspiration.

2011-08-16T08:56:00.000-07:00

My sister has always been a great artist, but lately she has been painting again and creating some pretty awesome stuff. I am terrible at art and would prefer using a knitting needle to a paint brush, but being around an artistic person is still so inspiring, right? I think so.

A day with Grandma.

2011-08-12T08:15:00.000-07:00

Last week the sisters took a mini road trip to Riverside and visited our grandma. I have missed her dearly since she moved out of our house and back to hers, and it was such a treat to have a day to spend with her and my sisters.

Instructions on how to make your love feel better after a long week.

2011-08-08T07:10:00.000-07:00

1. Bring home some wine.

2. Cook a nice dinner.

3. Find some white Christmas lights.

4. String them up in your treehouse. (Or house, or bedroom.)

5. Set up the meal.

6. Watch him love it.
(Mine did!)

A shop update.

2011-08-03T09:36:00.000-07:00

Emily is ridiculously talented when it comes to knitting/crocheting/tatting. She taught herself how to do ALL those things, and now she is making up her own patterns. As soon as I saw these earrings she made for Tessa I told her we HAD to have them in the shop. Since then she has created tons of patterns and even started dying them different colors. Check out the ones we have in our shop so far!

Bullets, bison teeth, beetle wings... and flowers.

2011-08-02T20:49:00.000-07:00

My birthday was last Tuesday, and here are some of my favorite gifts. Bethany made me two necklaces and a pair of earrings. I not so subtly hinted that I wanted these necklaces and I was SO happy when I saw she had made them for me. Bethany has the best style and she has this amazing way of incorporating strange things into her jewelry that I would never think of. Check out her Etsy shop.

Tim also got me a bouquet of flowers that were really beautiful. I love the deep shades of red and how much it brightens up my room. Tim is so thoughtful.

It was a good birthday.

It will happen.

2011-07-25T09:22:00.000-07:00

Change happens one step at a time.

Keep moving in the right direction.

You will get there.

These are the words I am telling myself this week. It's so easy to get down on yourself when trying to change, but I have realized in this process there is no easy way to better yourself. Sometimes it is hard and emotional and it could take a long time. Sometimes the very journey of getting to where you want to be defines you in different ways than you imagined. I am learning to enjoy the journey.

Happy Monday!

To my mother.

2011-07-24T21:38:00.000-07:00

Because of you:

-I have life.

-I realized I love hospice.

-I am motivated to exercise.

-I feel like it is not impossible to eat healthy.

-I will eat my calcium tablets.

-I don't like clutter.

-I feel like a dreamer.

I love you.

Oh hey, most awkward picture ever.

2011-07-20T09:03:00.000-07:00

So when I saw this giveaway on The Daybook, I was in love. Although, I have never won a giveaway so I didn't expect to win. So I checked out Megan's etsy shop just to see how much the watches were (expecting them to be super expensive). $20 bucks for this baby?! Yeah, I was in love. And even funnier, Megan had contacted me after I did a giveaway on the Daybook and she wanted to do a trade, but I wasn't able to do it at the time. So I immediately messaged her asking if she was still interested in doing a trade because I was suddenly obsessed with her watches. She was delighted to do it and we both ended up with pieces that we loved. Obviously, I love my watch and I can't remember every liking to wear a watch. Check out her shop, she has a great selection!

P.S. I swear that is my arm in the first picture, even though it doesn't look like it.

...

2011-07-18T09:55:00.000-07:00

Emma has been an inspiration to me lately. We are going through this weight loss journey together and it is hard and it sucks a lot of the time, which is why I am glad to have friends to go through it with. When I am feeling discouraged, she helps me. I try and do the same for her when she is having an off day. We have gotten to know each other well, and I love the ways our friendship has grown.

pictures.

2011-07-12T08:09:00.000-07:00

.Taken July 4, 2011.

"Anniversary" celebration.

2011-07-08T10:47:00.000-07:00

I don't like calling it an 'anniversary' since we aren't married and it feels strange, but we celebrated the last 4 years of dating together. Tim made delicious sandwiches and we had a picnic at Irvine Park. We had the whole day together to remember where we have been and dream about where we will be going. I am so excited to see where the future takes us.

P.S. My boyfriend makes fantastic sandwiches.

It's true what they say...

2011-07-07T08:20:00.000-07:00

Relationships are hard. They are especially hard when one person is going through a hard time and the other doesn't know exactly what to do to help. The past few weeks have been really hard for me. I have had to let go of relationships, struggle with past addictions, and battle this creeping depression. The other night I felt so weighed down by Satan's lies that I almost gave up on my relationship with Tim, because I wanted him to be able to find someone better than me.

I know I am going through the fire right now. I am in the middle of the fire, but I am confident in the Lord and his ability to bring me through. Our relationship is going through the fire, but I am also confident that we will come out of this a stronger and better version of ourselves.

Zechariah 13:9
"And I will put this third into the fire, and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon my name, and I will answer them. I will say, 'They are my people'; and they will say, 'The Lord is my God.'"

A new bag!

2011-07-06T09:43:00.000-07:00

I have been looking on Etsy lately for good vintage finds and there are so many, but they are all pretty expensive! Add shipping on top of that and I can't justify spending 60 on a dress. I found an awesome vintage store just down the street from my house the other day. I saw this amazing bag as soon as I walked in, but I didn't want to touch it because I assumed it was at least $40. When I finally got around to looking, I saw that it was $15! I am not an impulse shopper, but I purchased it on the spot. Everything in the store was surprisingly affordable and cute. I can't wait to go back!

It's so awesome that I can't resist taking ridiculous pictures with it!

*If you live in the Anaheim area, it's called Switch Room and it's on Brookhurst and Broadway. Check it out!

Expectation vs. Reality

2011-07-05T14:11:00.000-07:00

What I envisioned our 4th of July to look like:

1. Having breakfast together.

2. Spending the afternoon doing all the things we can't because we only see each other at night.

3. Having an afternoon bbq with corn and burgers.

4. Hanging out with friends at night and watching fireworks.

5. Kissing.

What actually happened our our 4th of July:

1. Waking up feeling stupid from being a jerk to Tim the night before.

2. Sulking all morning/afternoon waiting for him to call.

3. Debating whether to call him or waste the rest of my day watching scary movies.

4. Seeing Tim and getting into a huge discussion/argument, me nearly ruining our relationship.

5. Watering the Ahlberg's plants (in case they are reading this, totally did it.)

6. Making up with Tim and feeling much better.

7. Having a 9:30 pm BBQ with corn and burgers.

8. Watching Harry Potter.

I should have less expectations and realize things never go as planned with me.

A delicious dinner.

2011-07-05T09:37:00.000-07:00

Kayleen and I made a delicious dinner the other night, and it was pretty healthy! So here is my recipe, even though it's not a real recipe.

Chop onions and tomatoes... I like a lot of them, but you can put in as many as you want.

Use a whole wheat tortilla and spread 2 tbsp of hummus on it.

Add chicken and lettuce and tomatoes and onions on top of the tortilla. Wrap it up and enjoy!

It was surprisingly delicious and low in calories. Let me know if you try it!

Picture fail.

2011-07-03T10:21:00.000-07:00

I've had my new camera for a while now, and sometimes I still fail miserably at pictures and setting the ISO and all that jazz. I still love the second picture though, even if it is super over exposed.

Bike riding.

2011-07-01T10:46:00.000-07:00

Rode bikes with these lovelies the other night. Some things I learned:
1. Riding bikes at night is the best time, since you will get sweaty and the night air feels awesome.
2. These two officially have the coolest colored beach cruisers ever.
3. I am way out of shape.
4. I have a hole in my tire.

We'll try again next week.

Hey there, kids.

2011-06-30T10:30:00.000-07:00

Happy 33rd anniversary!

That's pretty crazy awesome.

Here's to 33 more.

Happy Birthday Emily!

2011-06-29T08:51:00.000-07:00

Have yourself one of these...

and go do some of this...

just don't combine the two and then do this.

(Don't think I don't see your foot in this picture, just waiting to jump.)

happy 28th birthday, Emily!

XO.

Yes, I know it is summer...

2011-06-28T10:56:00.000-07:00

but I just can't stop making cowls! Maybe I am just stocking up for winter. Check them out.

Tessa is beautiful.

Random.

2011-06-27T10:17:00.000-07:00

I love using found objects and other random things as props in photos. When Tim and I were at the arboretum, we found this bouquet of flowers in a glass bottle of Pom. It made for some pretty great pictures.

New adventures.

2011-06-25T10:05:00.000-07:00

Tim and I never get tired of going to the arboretum, and we always manage to find new and interesting spots to hang out.

Then we tried to recreate this picture.

Love this boy.

Snip.

2011-06-24T08:33:00.000-07:00

I have been wanting a change with my hair for a while, but I haven't been able to afford a really short haircut like I initially wanted. Tessa has cut my hair a few times and it has always turned out great, so I told her to cut my hair a bit shorter and to give me bangs! I have drooled over bloggers bangs like James, Naomi, Stacey, and Elsie for so long that I wanted to try some of my own. I am glad Tessa was up for the challenge.

I love the way they turned out! I like that I can wear my hair up in a bun and still feel feminine because of the bangs.

Some suggestions I would give to others thinking about getting bangs:
1. Don't cut really thick bangs for your first time, especially if you are going from nothing, like I did. This was actually the second time Tessa cut my bangs, because I had decided I liked them and wanted to make them more full. Make sure you like them first, and then commit more.
2. There is a very very fine line between being bangs being a good length and being too short. I thought at first they were too long because they were in my eyes a little bit, but any shorter and I think they would have looked too short. I also love the length of them because if I go to the gym or I am feeling lazy, I can easily put them back with a few bobby pins. If you cut them too short, you have less options.
3. (This one is from Tessa) When you have bangs, the first thing people notice is your eyes, so play those babies up! In my picture, Tessa put mascara on me (only on the top lash), liquid eye liner, and a natural shade of eye shadow. I love how they turned out. Maybe I will try to practice on my own and get together a tutorial.

Yeah, so then I became narcissistic and took more pictures of my new lovely hair.

Thanks sister!

Kayleen's Birthday!

2011-06-23T09:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Kayleen's birthday and we had so much fun! We all went to Knowlwood for dinner and then saw Mary Poppins on the big screen. (There were about 25 others there that were not in any of my pictures.) I had never seen Mary Poppins so it was an experience and I was so happy I sat by Tessa because we could hardly contain our laughter at one point and one of us might have snorted. I like my sister.

Happy Birthday Kayleen!

XO.

P.S. How awesome do my eyes look in that picture? Apparently this liquid eye liner stuff really makes them pop. I am so glad to have a sister who knows make up because I sure don't.

Suramy's Baby Shower.

2011-06-22T10:35:00.000-07:00

Suramy had a baby shower at work, and I was so glad I got to be there. I am getting more and more excited about this nephew of mine that is coming.

And if he looks anything like my brother did as a kid, we are all in trouble. There's no way we will be able to say no to him.

Summer clothes.

2011-06-21T07:53:00.000-07:00

Although I have gotten more daring with my clothes lately, I still feel really conservative sometimes. I love the idea of mixing patterns, but I do it only when I feel completely confident. This grey/blue shirt matches with everything and the pattern on it is so subtle that I felt great pairing it with a flowered dress. Sometimes matching patterns can go completely wrong, but I liked this one!

Also, everyone who touches this green vest thing seems to love it. "I don't know what fabric this is made from, but I think I want to have it's baby." That's what it made me think of.

P.S. I have no idea what I am doing in the second picture. Maybe taking a mental picture of Tim behind the camera like the girl from Elizabethtown?

Strawberry Picking.

2011-06-20T19:50:00.000-07:00

Last week Tim and I had a rare afternoon together and we went strawberry picking at his school. I had never done it before and there were so many red ripe strawberries! Plus, when I ate them at home they were so delicious.

Paul and Else.

2011-06-10T07:40:00.000-07:00

Last Monday was the first time I have ever visited my grandparents grave. It was a strange feeling, not because I think they are looking down on me from heaven, but because it was like I had never been so close to them. I had never seen their names in print like that, next to each other, with their birth and death years. A lot of times I wonder about heaven and what it will be like. I wonder a lot about my grandparents and whether I will recognize them as my grandparents or not. The times I have seen them in pictures they look like such adorable and happy people, I can't wait to meet them, and I hope they know I am their granddaughter, even though we never met on this earth.

Tessa's Birthday.

2011-06-09T08:05:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday was Tessa's 25th birthday, and we had so much fun! We started with a girls sleepover with her, Kayleen, Emily, Kristin, Julie, and me. There were lots of laughs, popcorn, and maybe some wine. Then, we woke up and made Tessa a pancake/strawberry/cinnamon roll breakfast. With blueberry AND chocolate chip pancakes. It was pretty great.

The four of us went to Watson's in the orange circle for Tessa's birthday lunch. We all commented on how ridiculous their portion sizes were. I wish I had taken a picture of my salad, it came in a bowl that could have served 12. Pretty crazy, but the food was good, and we all agreed this was the closest to Luke's we would ever come in our town. (Gilmore Girls reference there.)

For the rest of the night, I planned a party for Tessa at our parents house and invited all our friends. We made it a potluck so I wouldn't have to go crazy planning the meal, and everyone was more than happy to bring their favorite dish. It turned out SO great. First, we played a huge game of Apples to Apples.

Then when it got dark we headed into the backyard and watched His Girl Friday on the wall with Tim's projector. There is something so magical about watching an old movie on a wall outside bundled in a blanket.

It was a great birthday.

Things I love on Etsy.

2011-06-08T15:23:00.000-07:00

1. pretty dress

2. beaded ring

3. Toms

4. journal

5. dress

6. pretty picture

Most of these have been in my favorites for months, but I am really frugal with money most of the time and I just can't justify buying them all yet. Maybe for my birthday...

There is always time for dancing... especially at graduation.

2011-06-06T07:03:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Tessa!

2011-06-04T07:14:00.000-07:00

A new look.

2011-06-03T11:34:00.001-07:00

I think wrist warmers are the hardest of our items to take pictures of. They are so awkward, and Tessa and I have tried to think of many poses that don't make them look so awkward and it ends up being really awkward. (This might be why we have so much fun at photo shoots.) Anyways, we thought we would try a more artsy look for these wrist warmers that Emily made, and I love the way this picture turned out.

Tea with T, B, and V.

2011-06-01T09:50:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago we were having funky weather in CA, rain the morning and then sunshine in the afternoon. Anyways, Bethany invited Tessa and I over for tea and scones. It was such a delicious treat and so much fun to chat with friends and play with sweet baby Violet.

I am a huge fan of scones... just writing about them makes me want to learn how to bake. There are so many things I want to do if I ever have my own home, and having friends over for tea is one of them.

Grandma's Treat

2011-05-31T09:41:00.000-07:00

Grandma took Tessa and I to lunch at Ruby's the other day. She had never been before, and throughout lunch she kept saying how much she loved it. It was really sweet. Grandma always makes us laugh and we enjoyed being able to spend time with her.

The time I took pictures with an abandoned beat up chair.

2011-05-30T08:32:00.001-07:00

These were the most fun outfit pictures I have ever taken (ignore the fact I have only done less than five outfit photo shoots). Tessa and I were taking pictures for the shop and we came upon this awesome abandoned chair. I love the texture it adds to the photos. I am a big fan of crazy props, and even though I was wearing these crazy wedges, I climbed right up on that chair and we took pictures.

I almost fell only once.

When one sister is uncomfortable in her high heels...

2011-05-28T08:07:00.000-07:00

...all sisters take off their shoes so she feels less strange walking bare foot.

I love my sisters and the things we do for each other.

To my brother.

2011-05-27T06:35:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Noah!

We love you and how seriously you take Wii bowling.

XO,

your little sister.

It happens.

2011-05-26T09:31:00.000-07:00

To be honest, I have been in a bit of a funk lately with our etsy shop. Tessa and I haven't taken pictures in almost two months, and I haven't felt the motivation to really do it yet. I have quite a few pieces I have made, but still just haven't really cared about photographing them. Creating a piece of art is hard. Putting it on the internet for everyone to see is even harder. I constantly feel anxious, wondering if people still like what I am creating or if I am done on etsy. It's hard.

When I had tea with Bethany and Tessa, I was given the motivation to try again. Bethany is good about making me see things from a different perspective and she inspires me to put myself out there. I have decided it is my goal over the summer to put together a home accessories line. It is going to be hard and way out of my comfort zone, but I have high hopes. I will create things that will add a pop of color to one's home, and things that I would love to have in my future home.

It is getting me excited just writing about it, so I am hoping it will bring me out of my funk.

OC Greek Food Festival 2011

2011-05-24T09:11:00.000-07:00

(My camera ran out of battery the night before and I was too lazy to charge it. These pictures were taken with Tim's phone.)

Every year the Greek Food Festival falls on the weekend of our anniversary. This is our fourth time going. I remember the first time we went together, we were not even dating yet. I went with Tim, Bethany, and a bunch of their co-workers, and I was pretty terrified. If you don't know, I am not very adventurous when it comes to food, or at least I didn't used to be. So here I was, trying to impress this guy that I really liked, yet I had never had Greek food!

I wanted to appear really spontaneous and willing to try new things so I took a bite of dolmathes, which is rice or something wrapped in grape leaves. It was probably the worst thing I have tasted, but I didn't tell Tim that until later and he told me later he was impressed that I tried it because he hated it too.

And an amazing relationship was born.

.4.

2011-05-22T10:37:00.000-07:00

Dear Tim,
Today marks the four year anniversary of the night we sat in my treehouse and you asked me to be your girlfriend. You held my hand and I had butterflies in my stomach.

Thank you for allowing me to dream with you. Thank you for seeming genuinely interested in my book suggestions (even though you hardly read the books I suggest). Thank you for loving me in a way that makes me want to be better to deserve you. Thank you for singing Edward Sharpe really loud with me that night after we watched Dexter at Kayleen's. Thank you for being a great hugger. Thank you for following me home on nights when we watch a scary movie and I am too freaked out to be alone. Thank you for running up to me when I ring your doorbell and hugging me as if we haven't seen each other in months.

I definitely don't deserve you, but I will do everything I can to keep you around.

XO.

Today, I have a degree.

2011-05-21T15:18:00.000-07:00

Tessa took this picture of me in our backyard. I stuck it in my graduation announcements, because who doesn't want a picture of me on their fridge? All my friends beg for one, so you're welcome.

Today I graduate college. It's strange how when you are in the middle of something, it seems like it takes forever to end. Now, I look back and I think, where did the time go? I honestly can't believe I have been in college for four years. I still remember the first day of college. Tim put a good luck note on my car and I walked proud to school, feeling happy to be older yet scared that it would take so long to finish. Now, I am at the other side. It doesn't feel real. Although I can't be too sentimental... I will be in college for another two years getting my masters degree. Now let's hope that goes fast too.

Sometimes Wednesdays are hard.

2011-05-20T08:31:00.000-07:00

Some things that made my Wednesday interesting:

1. The whole day I thought I had a final at 5. Turns out it was at 4. It's a good thing I always get to class ridiculously early, but walking in at 3:57 with a blank look on my face wondering why everyone was already there was a little embarrassing.
2. Wearing a skirt on a windy day may have been the worst decision of my life. Sorry if you saw my underwear, CSUF peeps.
3. I almost ran over a lady in the parking lot. In my defense, she was running through the lanes, but still. I hear if you are going over 14 miles an hour you can seriously injure someone. I totally was, but it looks like running in those heels would have done worse than my car.
4. On Wednesday, I had my last final the next day. Deciding to wait until 8:30 the night before to study is not a good idea. Especially when the study guide is 9 pages and I don't remember a thing. Thank god for sisters and friends and flash cards. Seriously, flash cards saved my college career.

And now, it's Friday morning and I graduate tomorrow. I can't say I am feeling too excited, mainly because it's not the end and I am starting graduate school in the fall. But it's still a big deal, and I am excited to hang out with my family and friends and watch a slideshow Tessa put together of my life. Maybe I can figure out how to share it on the blog! Oh, you don't want to see pictures of me as an itty bitty baby? I really think you do.

Painting nails is hard without a sister.

2011-05-19T10:39:00.000-07:00

So, I have been loving these new colors of nail polish for summer. This mint green is my favorite. I even painted my finger nails with it the other week, and I can't remember the last time I painted my finger nails! It would always end up that I did the left hand really great, but when it came to the right, it would end up looking terrible and my self-esteem took a huge hit. Yet, this green made me want to try again. And it just so happened that when I started to paint my right hand, Tessa walked in my room.

Tessa: "What are you doing?"
Alanah: "Trying to paint my nails. I suck at this."
Tessa: "Oh, let me do it! I love to paint nails!"

This sounds like an embellishment, but it's not. Tessa loves make up and nail polish and hair products, which really is great for me since I am bad at all those things. So yeah, I lucked out.

Anaheim Art Crawl Experience

2011-05-18T10:44:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday I went to the Anaheim Art Crawl with Bethany and Daniel. It was so fun to see Bethany's display. I love everything about her bullet earrings. Plus, there were tons of food trucks and artists lined up on the streets painting. There aren't many things I love more than watching people do what they love. It is so inspiring, and it made me feel that contrary to every horrible drawing I have done in the past, I could suddenly pick a paint brush and create a masterpiece. It was a good night.

***Okay, I know I am not very in the loop with food trucks and all that, but no one told me they had one for cupcakes! What an awesome idea!

Sunday in four.

2011-05-17T10:33:00.000-07:00

1. A Sunday drive.

2. Reading together in the park.

3. A nice stroll.

4. Making pizza for dinner.

My siblings are cool.

2011-05-16T08:21:00.000-07:00

Pictures taken Easter 2011

One of those weeks.

2011-05-11T14:31:00.000-07:00

It's been one of those weeks. The kind where you don't want to get out of the bed in the morning. The kind where no song on the radio makes you happy. The kind where your hair just won't do what you want. The kind where everything makes you look fat.

Yeah, it's been one of those weeks for me.

But this morning I woke up to a sale on Etsy! AND, it was someone from Australia! I am so excited to have my hat displayed in Australia. How amazing is that? Then I started thinking about Etsy and how much fun I have had because of that shop. I realized that our business is international, and we have sold items to people all over the world!

It's still so amazing to me. I remember camping with Emily a few years ago, when we were just about to fall asleep, and I asked her, "Why don't we start an Etsy shop together?" Since then we have become international! To think there are people in these countries who are wearing items we made with our two hands still amazes me. I am so full of thankfulness and for that I can't be mad today.

Cafe Veronese.

2011-05-06T08:59:00.000-07:00

Thursday I went to Cafe Veronese with Sarah. It's a little place in downtown Fullerton where the owners turned their house into a cafe. I love all the outdoor seating because every little corner is unique. This is also the place where Bethany and I shared our traveling stories with our families the night we came home from Italy.... one of my favorite memories of us all being together. Sarah and I both got slushies, mine was kiwi and hers was mango. Both were delicious!

Sometimes I wish.

2011-05-05T09:24:00.000-07:00

I wish every day could be filled with Italian drinks and treats and awkward upside down photos... and Tim. I wish every day could be filled with Tim.

There is not much better than a bike ride by the beach.

2011-05-03T09:10:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday I spent the night at Emily's and her friend was nice enough to let me borrow her bike. So we hopped on and rode down the strand. It was the most fun I have had in a long time, and it was great exercise! We rode for about an hour and by the end, we were freezing and tired.

We got to watch the sun set and then headed back to Emily's where she cooked great pasta and we watched Tombstone (for me, the first time!). Lovely night. Lovely sister time.

needed: a haircut.

2011-05-02T07:27:00.000-07:00

I have decided my hair is getting way too long. I feel like getting a crazy short haircut. I've never been attached to my hair, and I love all the different hairstyles I have had. So, help me with some ideas. None are too crazy! I might grow my hair a little longer though so when I cut it I can donate to locks of love. Why not? It's probably long enough already!

My love of cupcakes.

2011-04-29T07:23:00.000-07:00

I think cupcakes are my favorite dessert.

Or, maybe just my friend Emma's cupcakes.

She makes the best cupcakes ever, way better than any cupcake store.

Last year for my birthday she made me chocolate cupcakes with a peanut butter frosting.

I won't even tell you how fast I ate that dozen.

Have a happy weekend friends!

(Eat a cupcake for me.)

XO.

Wednesday, you surprised me.

2011-04-27T20:07:00.000-07:00

I had the best Wednesday I have had in a long time, which is strange because Wednesdays are usually the low point of the week.

I did twice the exercise that I usually do in a day. And I didn't give up on Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred like I usually do. Have you tried that workout? I wanted to die the first time I tried it. Now I am getting better. Also, I took a walk with my mom after dinner around the park. It's so nice to take walks, they are so refreshing and such easy exercise to do.

The best part of my day was hearing my mom scream outside because a bird nearly attacked her. Maybe you should hear the story so you don't think I'm horrible. We have an orange tree in our backyard and apparently there is a bird nest in it. Whenever my mom goes out to pick oranges, this mama bird tries to attack her because she thinks my mom is getting into the nest. Today we weren't having it, so my mom and I both went out there, with tennis rackets in hand, ready to take on this bird. Needless to say, it didn't mess with us this time. (No birds were harmed.)

AND, I just got my graduation announcements in the mail. I can't believe in four weeks I will be a college graduate. I am so ready to party and celebrate getting through these four years.

Now I am just sitting at my desk writing in my journal with the Once soundtrack playing. I don't think there could be a better close to a day.

Hope tomorrow is just as good.

(Picture by Tessa.)

YarnPlusYarn in a store!

2011-04-26T09:40:00.000-07:00

Remember when I said we were selling our things in a store? Yeah, it's been a pretty snazzy deal. A vintage/handmade store named Nest opened up literally down the street from my house and I was contacted on Etsy asking if I wanted to be a part of it. Since then, we have sold quite a few items and it has been a really good experience. And it's still SO cool that our items are in an actual store, since sometimes Etsy feels less legit because it's all done online (only sometimes it feels this way).

Here is a picture of the store owner, Lisa. I knew as soon as I met her that I had seen her before, and it turns out she went to Cal State Fullerton! Small world. Here she is in her store, Nest.

And she's wearing my headband. Pretty awesome. Plus, she's gorgeous.

Photo credit: Janette at Daneshmand Photography

My life lately...

2011-04-25T13:02:00.000-07:00

"I say make time to dance alone with one hand waving free."
-Elizabethtown

My life lately has been so full of encouragement, direction, laughter, and love lately that all I want to do is dance. I am so thankful for God, my friends, and my family. I can't think of a time when I have felt better about myself and where my life is headed. I think about the future and I get so excited, hoping for the things to come.

So today, I make time to dance. Because life is awesome sometimes and there is always time for dancing.

Going back.

2011-04-23T11:29:00.000-07:00

I haven't told many people this yet, but I am planning another trip to Italy. There are many things that will have to fall into place to make it happen, but I am stubborn and I am a dreamer. Quite the combination for success, if you ask me.

I can't explain adequately in words how much my first trip to Italy last year changed my life. For the first time, I saw the world as bigger than my little corner of it. I did things I never thought I could do. I saw things more beautiful than anything I had ever experienced here. I met people who encouraged me, challenged me, and helped me along the way. I felt like a real adult, an independent adult.

I think once someone has had an experience such as that, it's impossible to go back to daily life without this yearning to escape sometimes. To hop on a plane and head back, with the hope of having gelato and meeting interesting Italian people. To be honest, I never cared about traveling because I never thought I could do it. I made excuses in my head about how it was too expensive, I wouldn't be able to go by myself, I wouldn't be able to get off work. I am so glad that when I expressed an interest in traveling to Italy, Bethany looked me in the eyes and said, "Why can't you do it? I'll go with you."

She is no liar. And because of that I had the most intense and exhilarating experience of my short life so far. I have to go back. I have to see Italy again. I have to go on 19 hour train ride to Sicily, I have to haul a 20 pound backpack on my back, I have to look for our hostel in the pouring rain in Venice.

I'm going back. I don't quite know how I am going to save the money yet. I am hoping our Etsy shop will take off and be super busy soon, but I don't know. All I know is that I am stubborn and I will find a way.

Healthy options.

2011-04-22T13:19:00.000-07:00

Losing weight is hard. I have never thought I had much of a sweet tooth until I started trying to lose weight. Then I suddenly wanted everything with sugar in sight. I especially struggle after dinner, when I am sitting at my desk knitting and watching TV. So... this is how I get my fix without the added guilt and calories. I love a hot drink at the end of the day and this one has enough sweetness that I feel like it is a reward.

You will need:
Honey
Lemon Juice
Green Tea
Splenda
& a mug

I usually fill this cup about 3/4 of the way full with water, add a few tablespoons of lemon juice, one tablespoon of honey, and a few tablespoons of splenda. Then add the green tea packet and put in the microwave for 2 minutes. Add more splenda and honey if it is not sweet enough (but not too much honey).

The only part of this that has calories is the honey, so don't use too much. Otherwise the drink is completely calorie free and tastes delicious. Let me know if you try it!

Belts make everything better.

2011-04-21T08:59:00.000-07:00

I feel like this outfit really shows who I am. I love loose fitting shirts with belts, and I love jewelry so much. This necklace has become my favorite because I feel like it adds a little flare to every outfit I wear. I got this shirt from Bethany and it took me so long to find the confidence to wear it, but now I love it, especially because it is so comfortable. And this cardigan... I have no recollection of where I got it.

This is the outfit you get when you never throw anything away. I love it.

A winner!

2011-04-20T13:11:00.000-07:00

Congrats Lenore!

Email me at alanahkrueger@gmail.com and we'll get you that hat.

Thanks to everyone who entered!

Essence.

2011-04-17T14:57:00.000-07:00

I never feel more myself than when I am sitting at my desk writing in my journal or when I am immersed in a good book. I have loved reading and writing for so long, and yet this past year I have done almost none of it. Every day it made me sad and I missed it, but something was stopping me and I didn't know exactly what it was and I didn't really care to find out. Lately, I have felt so inspired by my friends and this weekend was full of writing and reading.

I love feeling like myself again.

P.S. LAST day to enter my giveaway. Check it out!

Old.

2011-04-16T13:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I found my old livejournal. Remember livejournal? It was the thing when I was in junior high and I started writing more. I would post the link but I don't want to bore you with my high school self.

However, as I was reading up on all my old thoughts, I realized how much I have changed and grown lately. And, in every aspect of my life. Sometimes it is good to be reminded that you are a better person than you used to be and you have changed and evolved. I don't remember that enough and sometimes I find myself stuck in the past, getting frustrated over who I was and the things I did.

It's good to get a look from the other side sometimes.

In 37 days, I am a college graduate.

2011-04-15T10:14:00.000-07:00

I love graduations.

I pretend that I hate them, but I don't.

I love the music.

I love the energy.

I love how stupid everyone who is graduating looks in those robes an hats.

I love the air horns and beach balls.

I love the pictures.

I love the hugs.

I love every part, and I cannot wait.

P.S. Do you like free things? Enter my giveaway!

What a way to start Monday.

2011-04-14T08:06:00.000-07:00

Monday morning, Tessa and I went hiking near Anaheim Hills. I am trying to lose weight, so I was all about this idea. Then we actually started hiking and I regretted ever waking up. But through this hike I realized that these past years I have constantly be selling myself short. I have never really pushed myself because I didn't believe I was capable of doing more. When I gained a lot of weight, I told myself this was just how I would look from now on. I didn't think I would be able to lose it and I wasn't even willing to try. Every hill that we came across, I said to myself, "I know I can do this." I felt myself completely defying my nature of saying, "I will never be able to do this." And you know? I totally made it. Every time I saw a hill and told myself I could do it, I did it.

This is not to say that it wasn't hard. It was incredibly hard for me because I am still very overweight. (And I do remember telling Tessa, "Just right now, I hate you." Her response? "I was prepared for that.") But I did it, and now I want to do it again because I know that I can, and I can no longer tell myself I am not good enough when I know that I am.