Changing.

Every time I talk to someone who has lost a significant amount of weight, they tell me that there was a turning point that made them want to lose weight.
For me, it was seeing this picture of myself.
It was taken approximately three weeks ago when Tim and I went to the Fullerton Arboretum.
I was shocked at myself.
I felt everything from disgust to hate.
I guess I never really felt how much weight I had gained until I saw it.
I saw what other people have seen.
Fitting into my clothes was a stretch, but I didn't see anything wrong with it.
Until I saw this picture.


So, I decided to change.
I sat down with my mom and discussed healthy food options that I could eat.
We talked about an exercise schedule that she would help me with,
and how she would help me set up rewards for myself.


I started my new lifestyle last Monday, on the 25th.
I have exercised, I have changed my eating habits.
I feel much better than I have in months.


And now, I look at a different picture.
I don't look at a picture of what I am trying to get away from,
I look at a picture of what I am striving towards.
This picture.

May 5, 2007.
Tim and I going to prom.
I want to be the person I was then.
I want to be adventurous, exciting, and spontaneous.
One reason I fell in love with Tim was because he taught me how to love myself.
Sometime over the past year, I lost that love.
I want to strive to get to know myself again,
and be the person I know I am capable of being.

2 comments:

Emma said...

I am SO GLAD you are my accountabilibuddy!! I did the exact same thing last Friday. I was looking through old pictures with Jenny, and I was shocked at how much better I looked just five years ago. I always thought I was fat in high school, but now I know I was wrong. I'm fat NOW. The picture that has been very motivational for me is a picture of me and Jenny taken our senior year (I wish I could scan it to show you). I look so much better then than I do now. I know we can do this! We just need to be super supportive of each other and understand that it might take a while. We are going to look AMAZING when this is all said and done :).

alanahjoy said...

Emma, we will go bathing suit shopping together when this is over. I don't care if it is in December.