Changing.

Every time I talk to someone who has lost a significant amount of weight, they tell me that there was a turning point that made them want to lose weight.

For me, it was seeing this picture of myself.

It was taken approximately three weeks ago when Tim and I went to the Fullerton Arboretum.

I was shocked at myself.

I felt everything from disgust to hate.

I guess I never really felt how much weight I had gained until I saw it.

I saw what other people have seen.

Fitting into my clothes was a stretch, but I didn't see anything wrong with it.

Until I saw this picture.

So, I decided to change.

I sat down with my mom and discussed healthy food options that I could eat.

We talked about an exercise schedule that she would help me with,

and how she would help me set up rewards for myself.

I started my new lifestyle last Monday, on the 25th.

I have exercised, I have changed my eating habits.

I feel much better than I have in months.

And now, I look at a different picture.

I don't look at a picture of what I am trying to get away from,

I look at a picture of what I am striving towards.

This picture.

May 5, 2007.

Tim and I going to prom.

I want to be the person I was then.

I want to be adventurous, exciting, and spontaneous.

One reason I fell in love with Tim was because he taught me how to love myself.

Sometime over the past year, I lost that love.

I want to strive to get to know myself again,

and be the person I know I am capable of being.