Life lately.

(unrelated picture that makes me happy. source unknown.)

From my teen years on, I jumped from addiction to addiction. I believe a lot of my problems come from one of the worst and most destructive addictions: food.

I have always gone through times of not caring about my body and the weight that I gained. This past year, something changed for me. I gained inspiration from friends, I learned more about healthy living, I finally felt like I could do it. So I started trying to lose weight with the help of some friends. In five months, I lost sixteen pounds. That was huge for me! I had never lost that much weight in such little time, and I felt so good. Over the summer, I do not know what happened, but something was lost in me, and I gained back all the weight and more.

A few weeks ago, I gained inspiration again. I don't know if it was seeing an old friend, making a lovely dinner with my boy, or possibly thinking about maybe having a wedding sometime... but I felt on fire again to get control of my body issues. Three weeks ago I started counting calories and going to the gym as much as I could. I understand the reservations that some have with counting calories, and it does not work for everyone, but it worked for me, and I know I can make it work again.

I have heard the piece of advice that you should never start a diet that you cannot maintain for the rest of your life. Counting calories is not something that I plan to do for the rest of my life, but while I am still in this vulnerable, rocky period of having this food addiction, I feel like it is the best thing for me. It brings about such a major change in my mood at the end of the day, knowing everything that I put into my mouth. And I no longer go to bed feeling fat and guilty. I feel hopeful.

7 comments:

mom said...

Yeaaaah!!! You can do it one step at a time! Just remember you can't be perfect; cut yourself a little slack now and then.

Alanah said...

Is this MY mom?!

mom said...

You can never be sure.. getting to LOVE technology!

Alanah said...

A creepy and slightly evil tone?

Yeah, that's my mom.


;)

Nicole Baughman said...

I've tried so many things...I'm right there with you. I've got something going right now that I can maintain for life but I still find myself eating when I'm not hungry, cuz I'm bored or stressed or don't think I deserve to be healthy. It's crazy what our minds will try to do to us. Stay strong. It's worth it...it has to be.

Alanah said...

I think trying to reverse years of bad habits and low self-esteem really messes with the head. I know what you mean. It's good to know we can talk about it though!

wildchild said...

hope is the biggest thing you need when trying to lose weight. i'm right there with ya girl :)