I've been writing in journals for more than ten years. I like writing and saving my writings because sometimes it's fun to look back and see what kind of things you wrote. Things that made you happy, things you were troubled about, things you couldn't get over.

Lately, I've been reading in journals from 2004. When I used to read in old journals, I would laugh at how immature I was (while in my journal, I thought I was so mature) and get a kick out of the things I wrote. Now, when I read back on them, it makes me incredibly sad. I was so lost, even as little as five years ago. I was so angry, depressed, destructive. I want to go back to that person and give her a hug and let her know that the things she worries about won't matter in a year. I want to give her real friends who will build her up and not tear her down. I want to introduce her to Christ and show her how He can change her life.

I am proud of the person that I have become, yet sometimes I still wish I could go back and change my past.


Bethany said...

I'm proud of you, too.

W said...

You've come a long, long way, Alanah, and I'm liking where your head's at...and your heart, too.