This is me. No reservations.

My shoulder has been in pain for the last seven and half months. It started when I was at work. When I was on the checkstand, it hurt a lot. Sometimes I could not lift things onto the shelves. Of course, I thought it would go away. After not going away and intensifying over the next month, I decided to go to the doctor. They told me it was a rotator cuff injury, gave me some anti-inflammatory pills, and sent me on my way. They also said I needed two weeks off work. SWEET! I came back to work two weeks later, and it still hurt, and it hurt even more. I have distinct memories of coming home from working, being in so much pain I couldn't even take my work shirt off, and laying in bed crying because I couldn't move a muscle or it would send pain shooting up and down my arm. So, I went to the chiropractor. He had me lay down and touched my shoulder and clavicle and immediately knew what was wrong with me. Because of the repetitive motion on the checkstand, my front shoulder muscle was building up and the back one was falling away, so the front muscle was pulling my clavicle and shoulder bone forward. He showed me on the x-ray that there was a large gap between my arm and shoulder bone. He advised me to quit my job, saying it was not going to get better in two weeks. So, he started working on me. At first I visited him three times a week. Sometimes I felt better afterwards, sometimes I didn't. But I kept going to him for three months and although the pain did improve a lot, it was never quite better. Also, we couldn't keep going because the insurance only paid for thirty visits a year. I decided to give up playing tennis, a sport that I love because I felt it would make the arm worse.

This week my arm has been hurting more than it has in the last few months. I don't know what to do. I have taken so many things for granted, like being able to put my shirt on without pain, being able to take my laptop into another room without pain, being able to lift a spoon to my mouth without pain, being able to drive my car without pain. Every time I move it hurts. And now the pain has spread to my clavicle, neck, and all the way down my arm. I am going to Italy next week! What am I going to do? I don't want to be held down by this arm, but I know if I am in this much pain I won't be able to fully enjoy things. I am so angry right now. I am so angry that I stayed at that job. I am so angry at what they took from me. I don't feel like I will ever not be in pain again.