Going back.

I haven't told many people this yet, but I am planning another trip to Italy. There are many things that will have to fall into place to make it happen, but I am stubborn and I am a dreamer. Quite the combination for success, if you ask me.

I can't explain adequately in words how much my first trip to Italy last year changed my life. For the first time, I saw the world as bigger than my little corner of it. I did things I never thought I could do. I saw things more beautiful than anything I had ever experienced here. I met people who encouraged me, challenged me, and helped me along the way. I felt like a real adult, an independent adult.

I think once someone has had an experience such as that, it's impossible to go back to daily life without this yearning to escape sometimes. To hop on a plane and head back, with the hope of having gelato and meeting interesting Italian people. To be honest, I never cared about traveling because I never thought I could do it. I made excuses in my head about how it was too expensive, I wouldn't be able to go by myself, I wouldn't be able to get off work. I am so glad that when I expressed an interest in traveling to Italy, Bethany looked me in the eyes and said, "Why can't you do it? I'll go with you."

She is no liar. And because of that I had the most intense and exhilarating experience of my short life so far. I have to go back. I have to see Italy again. I have to go on 19 hour train ride to Sicily, I have to haul a 20 pound backpack on my back, I have to look for our hostel in the pouring rain in Venice.

I'm going back. I don't quite know how I am going to save the money yet. I am hoping our Etsy shop will take off and be super busy soon, but I don't know. All I know is that I am stubborn and I will find a way.

Italy.

Florence, May 2009

I miss Italy, again.

Sometimes I don't even like to think about our trip because it makes me sad I am not there.

Last night I had a dream about Italy and I woke up feeling so melancholy.

What is that? Why do I feel that?

I find myself longing to go back, to do everything I can to raise money to go back.

I even question the future, like do I really want to get married? Do I really want to "settle down"?

I want to see the world, I don't want to be comfortable in one place, I want to live everywhere.

Maybe that is my future, maybe it is not.

In this situation I need to trust God.

He knows.

Magic.

A few days ago when I was driving home, the sky was SO beautiful!

It felt like this great little gift for me personally, even though I wasn't the only one experiencing it.

When we were in Italy, Bethany would call it "the magic hour."

You know, when the sun goes down and everything is lit up in oranges and yellows.

Every night we would bask in the way the city lit up and made Italy even more beautiful.

It reminded me of this night in Florence.

Oh, how I miss this place! 

I am already saving to go back.

Missing it.

I am missing Italy BAD.

I want to go back asap.

My sincerest thanks...

In January '09, Bethany and I went to a little Italian restaurant in Long Beach. I remember clearly looking around at the paintings on the walls and sighing, saying something like, "I wish I could go to Italy." B looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why can't you?" This prompted a whole discussion about all the reasons I would never be able to take a trip like the ones she had been on. One of them was that none of my friends had enough money to go with me. She raised her hand and said, "If you want to go, I'll go with you." I never thought she was serious.

When we bought our tickets to Italy on Feb. 17, my money was gone. I spent all that I had saved on the ticket. I needed to save at least $1500 to cover the cost of the trip and to pay my insurance in July. I did not have a job. I had no money.

I leave for the airport in 3.5 hours. I am feeling such a mixture of emotions but the one that I feel the most of is gratefulness. I have to give my sincerest thanks to everyone who has helped make this trip possible for me.

Thank you to everyone who donated things to my garage sales.

Thank you to everyone who came to my garage sale, you have no idea how loved I felt.

Thank you to everyone who came to my craft fairs.

Thank you to everyone who prayed for me.

Thank you to everyone who gave me their recycling.

Thank you to everyone who had me house sit, babysit, pet sit, ect.

Thank you to everyone who told their friends about our online store.

Thank you to everyone who purchased things from Emily and I.

Thank you to everyone who encouraged me.

With your help, I have raised $1,790.89. MORE than my goal. All I can say is I have amazing people in my life and God is good. I know without a doubt that this is a trip I am supposed to be on.

Lastly, thank you to everyone who did not think I could pull this off-- you have no idea how stubborn I am.